Week 21-22

22 weeks. 

5 1/2 months.

2 corn on the cobs.

2.

2 humans.

There's no denying that I'm pregnant. I'm huge and I saw things in an ultrasound I could feel at the same time.

I keep thinking "this doesn't feel real!"

But does that even make sense?

I don't know how any other moms feel (still weird lumping myself into that category) but does it become "real" ever?  Do we suddenly wake up and "feel" like moms? Or do I have a gross misconception about mothers I see and assume they have the "feeling" and are, from conception forth, a different person in a maternal way? Or is everybody just scrambling to figure it out and hope no one sees how "unqualified" they are, or rather, feel.

Maybe no one really knows the "right" way to raise children, and maybe that's the right way.

Deep stuff, man. 

All I know is that inevitably these little things moving around inside of me are going to come out and I'm going to have to "feel" like their mom. 

Just something I've been thinking about.

So here we are at 22 weeks!

March 5 was our ultrasound. It was 1:45 pm and I had ingested all the liquid necessary and was holding it in waiting for Tim to come get me from work. He arrived and I was just about ready to burst with excitement and possibly because of my full bladder. 

We arrived at the doctors office right at 2:15 for our 2:30 appointment. I had timed it just right! We were about to see our little buddies and hopefully find out the gender too! I had been anticipating this ultrasound for a long time! I checked in and sat down.

Well, 2:30 rolls around and no one calls my name. 3:00 rolls around and the pregnant lady next to me is called in and they apologize telling her that they are slammed back there. I assumed at that point I was after her. So then 3:15...bladder practically exploding ...3:30... Sitting on my feet to keep it in....3:45...

Tim decided to go check on the status. 

Apparently the lady NEVER CHECKED US IN!

I was so annoyed and had to pee so bad that I started crying in the waiting room right as the ultrasound lady came to get us. 

"Oh great, a crazy lady and now I need to take care of her"

I just apologized for being hormonal and she said if I ever wait more than 15 minutes to check what's going on. Looks like I'm going to be that annoying customer now who always makes sure the customer service representative is doing their job correctly.

We finally arrived in the room right before 4 and once I layed down I was ok. 

She asked me what I thought the genders were. I said "baby A is a girl and baby b is a boy" She smiled and replied "let's see if you're right!"

They were so big and moving so much! At one point it looked like baby b was sitting in the lap of baby a, it was so cool to see them and feel them at the same time!

The first one to show us was baby A. She is a little girl! I was right! I was so excited I pinched tims ear really hard. It was all I could reach. This would happen many many times throughout the ultrasound. She has all her limbs, heart beat is good, spine is straight, all that stuff. Healthy beautiful girl :)

Then we moved on to baby b.

This little sucker had its legs crossed. He was fully lounging. We checked his head and all the other necessary things, and then since he wasn't showing the goods, she had me go to the bathroom and move around. 

Best bathroom break ever. 

Finally we saw it front and center. He in fact was a HE! It felt so good to be SO right. I should start gambling. Wait, no.

We celebrated by having burgers. In fact we celebrate a lot of things by having burgers. We just like burgers.

Other than that exciting news, they have been moving a LOT and I'm getting bigger by the day! I waddle now a little since my legs and back are loosening up.  It seems like loosening would feel good but it kinda hurts. 

I think it's time to get a pair of shoes a size bigger too. There have been a number of times I've made Tim get the car because I can't fit my shoes back on my feet when we leave someone's house. 

My ankles fold over sometimes.

Oh yeah and I had an OB appointment and she said I am doing great, babies are doing great, and for a "high risk" pregnancy I am low risk! Just praying these babies get in the right position to come out smoothly and they stay in for as long as they want!

Hopefully next time I won't wait so long to post :/

Cheers!

Week 19

Today I'm writing from a particularly sleepy state. I slept for 8 hours, but I'm just STILL tired! I know what you're thinking..."just wait, you don't know what tired is, you poor little first time mom" 

You're right, but I'm still tired, so there.

I'm feeling a little complainy, but I really have nothing to complain about. We drove home from a very relaxing time in Phoenix in our new MINIVAN. I'm telling you, it is the way to go! Baby or not! It's so roomy and such a smooth ride. I'm 6 feet tall and pregnant and I could stretch out in the front seat. It was glorious!

So, our babies are about 6 inches long now each (like a zucchini!) they are definitely on their way to making me really uncomfortable. There's some major pressure goin' on that makes it hard to do normal things. The other day I felt a sneeze coming on and I yelled "oh no! I'm gonna sneeze!" Tim ran over, not knowing what to do and tried to help by holding my legs in place, but when I let it out it made my stomach cramp like CRAZY and I yelled "OOWWWWIIEEE, OW OW OW"

It's like what little abs existed are now stretched to capacity and are unable to  protect my insides whatsoever from any outside force, whether it be sneezing or trying to sit up wrong.

Woah, when I was typing just now, I sneezed while typing "sneezing." 

I'm ok.

We're almost to 20 weeks now which is crazy cuz that means I'm 5 months pregnant! That's like, real life pregnant. 

If I thought my pants didn't fit before...oh man, good luck finding a rubber band long enough to hold the fly together now!

I watched a video of a baby moving around in someone's belly on YouTube. Man, that was a bad idea. It is CRAZY looking! Don't look it up if you want to sleep at night. It's called "baby moving and grooving in utero" 

That's right, not movin' and groovin' like it should be. 

It's STILL crazy to me that I'm actually growing children inside of my body. It's still unreal that there are 2! I am not sure when it'll become real, but so far it's just like I'm more fat and tired.

I started to think of funny things to do at a baby shower. I called my sister Summy to ask if she had ideas. She had already come up with a Pinterest board and a list of funny things to do. I knew she was the best person for the job! I'm thinking everybody has to dress like twins with someone else and eat double cheeseburgers. It's easy and something I already love doing. We'll see how it turns out! 

I've started nesting too. I didn't think it was real, but I have already purged almost everything I own that is unnecessary, and even some necessary things have been switched out for new ones. I think it'll kick into high gear after the baby shower when i actually have baby things to put out. 

We're getting very excited over here! Maybe I should set up a calendar for guesses on their birthday. The person who gets it right gets to bring us dinner after they're born! 

That's all for now! If you have any burning questions, you can comment and I'll try to answer them! Otherwise, until next week! 

 

Weeks 17-18

I'm in Arizona! 

Tim is here too. My brother in law just got married, but any excuse to get out of the northwest in February, AMIRIGHT?

It's so nice hanging out in the sun and having my mother in law feed me until I can't eat anymore. The first thing she says when I wake up is "time to feed those babies, how do you like your eggs?"

Well, maybe she says good morning first.

I love it.

So, I know this shouldn't be news by now but I'm getting bigger everyday, like not a little bigger but NOTICEABLY bigger. 

I'm so glad I'm past the "is she fat or pregnant" stage. Now I can wear maternity pants without guilt (like I ever did) and wear things that are tighter on my belly without being self conscious.

MY LOVELY BABY BUMP, checkitout

The babies are the size of a sweet potato each now, and have little eyelashes and fingernails and stuff. They don't move much, but I just figure they're kinda squished in there. I feel them sometimes like right when I wake up, because since I sleep on my side they're in a different position in the morning, all sticking up on one side.

I've been a little sicker the last few days. When I eat I immediately feel THANKSGIVING full and need to lay down or lean wayyy back to digest...for a while. I missed all the dancing at the wedding because of my stomach, but eh...who wants to dance to all their favorite songs anyway :'(

Can't wait til I'm really big though so I can dance and look insane. 

We're coming up on our appointment to find out the genders. We can't wait! Not so much to buy blue or pink things (boring) but to be able to pick names. We have so many in the running, and it'll be nice to know what to expect! I go back and forth what I think they are, but the man on the airplane next to me said "it's 2 girls" and then his wife leaned over and said "he hasn't been wrong yet"

We'll see sir. We'll see.

I automatically thought it was one of each, but lately I've had an inkling it's 2 boys. No real reason. 

It'll probably be triplets all of a sudden and really throw us off, because of course that'd happened to us.

It's been nice to see family and just rest and eat. Seeing my sister Steph has been great, mostly because she suggests cool names like "gibbles" pronounced like "jibbles" but with a g of course.

Also, another friend suggested the names "Magellen and Tesla." Those names are perfect I think. For girls. 

We are definitely on an adventure here in Norrisland, and I can't wait to see how it progresses! I feel pretty good, and I'm hoping it keeps up!

Until next week.

 

Week 16

I wrote my WHOLE post and then it deleted. I'm so annoyed! Maybe I'll just post a picture of myself and go eat a cookie. No, I'll just re write it and hope I remember it all. 

Anyway, here's a picture of me a few minutes ago when i was happy.

So I know I'm not showing too much, but those little dill pickles are definitely in there and making my belly hard and round. Before I could kinda squish myself into pants, but now it's like trying to put a size 4 on a size 8 statue. 

I have graduated into my maternity leggings and dresses, actually who am I kidding, I bought maternity leggings back in November and never looked back. It's never too soon to dress in maternity clothing, AMIRIGHT? No muffin top. (Although the top is the best part of the muffin)

We went to an OB last week and saw our little buddies moving around! They're so alive and active! Right now they're head toe, so one keeps getting kicked in the head. Well, baby, get used to it. Your brother or sister will probably never stop doing that. At least, when no one is looking so you can't prove it.

It doesn't feel real sometimes, because I can't feel them moving yet. I should any day now, but maybe I should be thankful for this time pre-insidepunching. They're going to be making me extremely uncomfortable in the next few months. I guess I can wait. 

Oh also my feet are swelling a little, it's pretty cute. My feet didn't fit in my shoes after the Super Bowl party. Maybe I sat around and ate too hard. 

I like to say that I have 3 brains now, although that would make you think I could remember words I need on a regular basis like "envelope" or "balance." Those words would come in handy working at a bank as a teller, but somehow they escape me. Every. Time.

"Thanks for coming in, here's your amountofmoneyinyouraccount, would you like a paperthingthatholdsmoney?"

All in all, with the body changes, brain farts and slight sickness, I am very fortunate to have these little twinkles coming! I can't wait to hug them and put them in matching outfits and watch Tim be their dad. How does one girl get so much favor? I'm so thankful. 

Until next week! (reporting from Arizona!)

15 weeks

It's 9:50 am. Church starts at 10 am. 

"Tim, can I cut my hair off right now?"

"Sure."

I would like to say that in that moment I was taken over by hormones and hot flashes making me cut it off or die. I think that was my excuse at the time, but the truth is I have done this a million times before. I just took advantage of the fact that my hair grows INSANELY fast right now, and not just on my head. I have to shave like every other day (or not) AMIRIGHT pregnant ladies?

So I'm at week 15. I have 2 little avocados in there making my stomach grow slowly but surely. Everyday I wake up and it's a little harder and sometimes it's off to the side a little! 

I can't feel any kicking yet, which surprises me because there are 2 little movers in there! In the ultrasound, baby A has its arms up next to its head like it's doing the salt and pepa dance to "push it"

See! If you can tell what's going on there, on the left is the scary face and baby is laying on its side, belly going to the right, lounging with its elbows up. Straight up dancing.

And this is baby B looking like an alien

So far Baby A has been in the spotlight every ultrasound, dancing and jumping for the camera. Baby B has been hiding a little and looking annoyed with Baby A. I'm not sure if that's a picture of what's to come. 

I can't remember if I mentioned this in my last post (sometimes I can't remember normal things) but my due date is July 18. That is 40 weeks, but they say to expect twins 3-4 weeks earlier. So, we're going to have babies literally 9 months after we got married! Last year at the 4th of July party we joked about "next year when I'm super pregnant" be careful what you joke about! We also joked about seeing "how many" we're in there before our first ultrasound...

Wouldn't it be so funny if someone gave us a house to live in? Hahahaha...ha...ha...

In 3 weeks we are taking a huge leap into grown-up-hood. We're picking up our MINI VAN!

Now, most people cringe when they realize they have to move up to mini van status, but I have been dreaming of this day for a long time! Even before I was married or pregnant. 

I LOVE vans! 

One of my first vehicles was a van and it is just so useful! You can not deny the convenience of a minivan, and the style isn't that bad either. Everyone get over it and embrace the vehicle designed to make your life extremely easy and roomy. I promise, Honda is not paying me to say this, but I wouldn't be mad if they sent me a free Odyssey. 

Just imagine all the goodwill finds you can just go ahead and take home with you! Imagine the cool garage sale you can treasure hunt with ease! All of this, and my babies fit too. Booyah.

Overall, week 15 has been a breeze, here's for hoping the rest of the weeks are this easy 😁 (injesusnameamen)

Pregnancy up to week 14

The last time I wrote on this blog my life was very different.
Before I was trying to lose weight and now I'm trying to gain it.

Quick timeline of my life since last year as it pertains to this blog post

February 15, 2014: first date with Tim Norris
June 5, 2014: got engaged to Tim Norris
October 4, 2014: got married to Tim Norris
October 25-27ish, 2014: got pregnant
December 31, 2014: found out it was TWINS

So....2014 was pretty cool I guess.

I won't spend a lot of time catching you up on the pregnancy thus far, it's been pretty tame. I will tell a few highlights that I think are pretty funny.

I cry all the time, one time Tim accidentally scared me and I started crying. Also, I cried watching Hook, Annie, and Hunger Games. Like sobbing uncontrollable hot mess type crying. That's just the beginning. I could write a whole blog called #whyisaprilcrying. It would be full. Poor Tim.

I haven't been sick really, sometimes my favorite foods make me gag, and foods I've never wanted to eat are the only things I can stomach. For the first few weeks I only wanted Starbucks breakfast sandwiches and Cheerios. Now I don't want either ever again. Other stuff makes me gag, like hearing someone spit or brushing my teeth.

Moms, please don't hate me for not having morning sickness, I promise I'm trying my hardest!

The day we found out we were having twins was an unbelievable day.

We went in for our first ultrasound when I was at 12 weeks. The midwife was really nice. She smelled like coffee and I was so jealous. It was probably even Folgers. Too bad my bladder was more full than it had ever been.

We joked about seeing how many were in there.

She pulled out the Doppler to listen for the heartbeat...and there was nothing.

She told us not to worry, the baby was probably just hiding or I had a tipped uterus or something. I was like, "you don't know nothin about my uterus"

Then she pulled in the robot machine to take a look. At this point we were a little nervous because what if there was no more baby? What if the test was wrong? What if? 

So she squirted the extremely cold gel on my belly (I was the first patient so it hadn't had time to warm up) and we got a glimpse of what was inside of me. 

She looked and looked and then looked concerned and confused. She took the screen away and told us she needed to look at it alone. She was pressing the wand thing into my bladder and making a face we didn't like, but then after what seemed like 10 years she said "a-ha!" And turned it back toward us.

"I understand now, see this line? This is the separation between 2 sacs. Here is the first baby and here is the second baby!"

...

Then both of our jaws hit the ground. We were laughing and crying, the kind of nervous laugh that makes it sound like you're happy when you're not sure if you are. I looked over at Tim and a single tear was falling down his face. Then he asked for a chair.

We sat in shock for a while and the midwife congratulated us and sent us to radiology to get another ultrasound, but I had to go to work. So I went to work.

That was 2 weeks ago and we're still reeling. This changes everything! We had a plan! WE HAD IT ALL FIGURED OUT! 

Alas, just like everything in our marriage so far, we have to trust God in the unexpected times. We have to know that His plan is best even if we are scared or overwhelmed. We also are privileged to jump in the river and see where it takes us! 

Wanna know what made me suddenly ok with all of this? It's a love that was put inside me long ago. A love for matching outfits. Thank you, Lord.

I'll post a picture next time, I don't look any different yet, my stomach is just harder.

maintaining ain't that bad, I guess.

I had a realization today. I'm maintaining a low weight and I'm living the lifestyle I have always wanted! I still kind of don't believe it.

The 3 month period I committed to doing the candida diet has been over for weeks. I was on a super high doing the diet perfectly and losing weight and feeling awesome!

When the 3 months ended, I had a treat.

The next day I had another, and soon I was making the choice consciously to eat whatever I wanted while still being careful. Then I went on vacation and ran out of money.

Then I decided not to starve and forage within my cupboards and accept meals given to me. (SO thankful for friends who feed me!)

Now I'm here, still waiting on the resources to eat the way I "want" and all the while I have been so unhappy!

The reason might not be what you think it is.

I am not unhappy because I am eating differently. I am not unhappy because I might have gained a few lbs.
I am not unhappy because my skin reacts to food. I am not unhappy because I have "given up"
I am not unhappy because I have no money. I'm not unhappy because I messed up.

I have been unhappy because I let lies rule my mind for the past 3 weeks.
I have been cursing myself everyday.

IT'S ALL BEEN IN MY MIND

Looking in the mirror and thinking:
"here comes the weight, I won't be pretty anymore"
"I'm out of control"
"I can't do a good job again"
"I can't maintain a healthy body"
"I'll never finish what I start"
"How can I possibly do this without money?"
"I can't tell anyone this is hard for me, they'll think I'm a quitter"

Do you want to know the reality?

I have not gained one lb, even if I did, it's ok.
I eat extremely healthy food.
I don't over eat.
I am doing a great job everyday, even though it's different than before.
My body is healthy and digesting correctly
I am constantly in a process, but I have made progress.
If people know I am having a hard time, they will still like me.

How is my picture of myself so off from who I actually am? How did I let it get this far?

I am "weighing" myself every day. 

Everyone knows that if you are trying to lose weight, it's more realistic and satisfying to step on the scale once a week instead of everyday. The reason being, weight comes off slowly, so to constantly be standing on the scale will be extremely discouraging! If you zoom out and look at the bigger picture, maybe every 3 months or even 6 months you'll see that your body is different and you've made tons of progress!

I was totally sitting on the scale staring at the number and hoping it would change.

I am taking hope though, because I know the truth of who I am! I am a woman who finishes what she starts. I am a woman who has self control. I am a woman who is able to be real and talk to others. I am a woman who is interdependent. I love myself and I will treat myself like it's true!