Monday, September 18, 2017

Whole30. The "After" Blog

I DID IT. Ididitididitididitididit.

Not only did I do the Whole30, I did the Whole 42. Basically that's just the Whole30 plus the 12 day reintroduction of food. (to see how it all makes me feel)

I should clarify, it wasn't only me who did it. My wonderful and supportive husband also came along with me on this journey. I would HIGHLY recommend doing this with a partner. I would have given up if I were alone. Plus, we promised each other if ONE of us cheated we would start over, so there's motivation right there. Don't be the one who eats a cookie on day 29, don't be that guy.

Day 31

I really did plan on writing down more than the first and last day. Life happens though. My side by side pictures will speak louder than my weight loss. I am currently at 249. I started at 255. Although that seems low (to me) The changes in my body have been immense. (I have to remind myself.) I was hoping for a larger scale decrease, not going to lie, but it’s all going to be ok because I have proof of my body changing in picture form.

Today, compared to 30 days ago, I have MUCH more energy. So much that I don’t need to nap when the kids do, or go to bed at 8. (normally)

I am still semi-creaky, and my lower back isn’t all the way loose, but the real winning here is that I realized that if I move my body I immediately feel better. Maybe it’s because I am in my 30s now, but i feel like the tin man when i wake up and exercise is like my oil. It loosens me up and makes me want to dance! If I don’t move all day I feel worse and worse. I hate that it’s true, but a nap doesn't do it, a run does.

I know I am learning life lessons that I should have learned earlier, but heck, I can should all over myself or I can move on.

I haven’t craved sugar for a while, peppers taste like candy to me. My relationship with food is what is the biggest change of all. I am sure if the inside of my body could talk it would be screaming from the rooftops all the good that’s going on that we can’t see. To get a little personal, I don’t have NEARLY the amount of bloating or gas, i don’t feel “too full” or sluggish after a meal, All my systems seem to be working more properly. My skin is softer. My belly fat is going away. You guys, that never happens to me. Normally I lose weight from the top and bottom first and move toward the middle, then I give up before the middle changes at all. This is breakthrough.

My mind has changed from “what/when can I eat next” to other things, like remembering I used to have hobbies and stuff I liked to do before kids. My brain space was taken up so much by food and sugar cravings (I separate them because processed sugar isn’t really a food, it’s more like a poison or drug) that I felt like I was losing myself being a mom who was addicted to food.

When Tim asks “what do you want for dinner?” my answer before would have been “I’ve been thinking about this since breakfast, something carby and salty and bready with something sweet and creamy after. Now the answer is “I don’t care” Which by the way is the more correct answer, for me. I understand that food is meant to be enjoyed and meant to bring us together as community and family, and those are the times when we can eat something special, but most of the time the answer to the “What should I eat?” question should be…."Oh, hadn’t considered yet”

When my brain space was taken up by food, weight, body image, and then GUILT over thinking about food, weight and body image, there wasn’t much space for other things. It’s almost as if there was a plot against me to keep me from thinking too deeply. ;)
So there it is, the proof is in the puddin’ or actually in the pictures, there is no pudding involved.

I am still going though, these pictures were taken about 2 weeks ago. I am still changing rapidly and I can feel myself getting stronger. Ill keep writing (for myself mostly, stones of remembrance) as I notice differences and have revelation. I am having a lot lately.

Whole30. The "Before" Blog.

I started the Whole30 today. I have “started” (not finished) many of these fad diets, but this one feels different. 

During a meeting with a lactation consultant we were discussing reasons why my milk supply has not come in fully. (baby is 2.5 months old)

The hypothesis we landed on was that I could have Insulin Resistance. (basically pre-diabetes) In a nutshell, if she is correct, my body doesn't process sugar the way it should. That leaves my milk cells clogged with glucose and unable to get the protein, water, and carbs that it needs (on top of glucose) to make the milk! 

If I can re-balance my body through diet to function the way it should, maybe my milk will come in. That's the idea.

This came as quite the relief because it seems like the key to EVERYTHING that has been going on within my body. The symptoms she mentioned were ALL me. 

-General malaise, trouble losing weight no matter how hard I try, skin problems, sugar cravings, low milk supply etc.

My body has been acting weird around sugar for a long time and I just haven't had the guts to stare it in the face and say, ok, is there something you want to say? 

What if I listened to my body and it told me to never eat sugar again? 
What if my body told me something was wrong? 
What if I had to make a big change that I simply didn't feel like making? 
Who would I be if I was at my goal weight with a body that functions properly?
What would I THINK ABOUT all day?

It’s hard to face myself and admit that the way my body functions and feels could be MY fault. 
That the key to being the healthy me that I've NEVER been is just me stepping up and taking responsibility.

Don’t ask me why this is all so hard for me, because I'm not exactly sure why, it just is. 
I am going to have to do some deep soul searching to fix this. I am writing all of this down because I believe in the power of testimony. If I can write down all the positive changes I see this month, I can keep going. This may seem very unnecessarily detailed, but whatever.

I weigh 255 as of Day 1, and I will not be weighing myself again until day 31.  

Currently my body feels:

Bloated, overweight, tired, creaky, hard to move my lower back too much, slightly weak, very tired all the time, and low energy. When I feel like this i am less patient with myself and with my family. I feel entitled to “treats” or “breaks.” I feel sorry for myself and want to cry a lot. Getting up to do things is harder than it should be. Saying yes to my kids wanting to go outside is hard. It’s also over 100 degrees though, so i get a pass. My right ankle has been inflamed for longer than I can remember, my wrists hurt when too much weight is put on them. My skin is spotted one my chest and back. My knees crackle and hurt when I hike. Is that it? hah. that’s just off the top of my head.  

Im not expecting the Whole30 alone to be my savior, but I am hopeful that it will help change my outlook and jumpstart me to keep going on this path as long as it takes to get me healthy. It’s not just for me anymore, it's for my family. I would like to be around for my kids as long as possible.

On my next blog post, I will share the before and after pictures (and much more), in case you are curious.