Whole30. The "Before" Blog.

I started the Whole30 today. I have “started” (not finished) many of these fad diets, but this one feels different. 

During a meeting with a lactation consultant we were discussing reasons why my milk supply has not come in fully. (baby is 2.5 months old)

The hypothesis we landed on was that I could have Insulin Resistance. (basically pre-diabetes) In a nutshell, if she is correct, my body doesn't process sugar the way it should. That leaves my milk cells clogged with glucose and unable to get the protein, water, and carbs that it needs (on top of glucose) to make the milk! 

If I can re-balance my body through diet to function the way it should, maybe my milk will come in. That's the idea.

This came as quite the relief because it seems like the key to EVERYTHING that has been going on within my body. The symptoms she mentioned were ALL me. 

-General malaise, trouble losing weight no matter how hard I try, skin problems, sugar cravings, low milk supply etc.

My body has been acting weird around sugar for a long time and I just haven't had the guts to stare it in the face and say, ok, is there something you want to say? 

What if I listened to my body and it told me to never eat sugar again? 

What if my body told me something was wrong? 

What if I had to make a big change that I simply didn't feel like making? 

Who would I be if I was at my goal weight with a body that functions properly?

What would I THINK ABOUT all day?

It’s hard to face myself and admit that the way my body functions and feels could be MY fault. 

That the key to being the healthy me that I've NEVER been is just me stepping up and taking responsibility.

Don’t ask me why this is all so hard for me, because I'm not exactly sure why, it just is. 

I am going to have to do some deep soul searching to fix this. I am writing all of this down because I believe in the power of testimony. If I can write down all the positive changes I see this month, I can keep going. This may seem very unnecessarily detailed, but whatever.

I weigh 255 as of Day 1, and I will not be weighing myself again until day 31.  

Currently my body feels:

Bloated, overweight, tired, creaky, hard to move my lower back too much, slightly weak, very tired all the time, and low energy. When I feel like this i am less patient with myself and with my family. I feel entitled to “treats” or “breaks.” I feel sorry for myself and want to cry a lot. Getting up to do things is harder than it should be. Saying yes to my kids wanting to go outside is hard. It’s also over 100 degrees though, so i get a pass. My right ankle has been inflamed for longer than I can remember, my wrists hurt when too much weight is put on them. My skin is spotted one my chest and back. My knees crackle and hurt when I hike. Is that it? hah. that’s just off the top of my head.  

Im not expecting the Whole30 alone to be my savior, but I am hopeful that it will help change my outlook and jumpstart me to keep going on this path as long as it takes to get me healthy. It’s not just for me anymore, it's for my family. I would like to be around for my kids as long as possible.

On my next blog post, I will share the before and after pictures (and much more), in case you are curious.