Day #34 - I'm still trying sometimes, I win.

I was sitting in the living room with my roommates who were doing an 11 day cleanse. They were weighing in and creating characters on the Wii Fit.  I used to think that Wii Fit was so dorky, like, just go outside or something. I kinda sat there thinking how un-useful that whole system was until they pulled up their charts and started doing a body analysis.

This machine was creating a calendar for their goals, weighing them in and checking their body balance. It also tracked their BMI and kept their goals locked in to a graph. It suddenly perked my interest. I was on day 24 or 25 then and I was so sure that I lost weight I wanted to see! They created me a character with a black dress on and a high bun. It looks JUST like me, or Adele. Either way I liked it.

I stepped on the scale and was honestly afraid. I don't like to see how much I weigh, I don't like to be categorized as obese. I don't like a video game trying to guess my age. I closed my eyes and the little creepy voice started saying "testing, testing, testing"

Then it happened. My BMI popped up. I was sure it was gonna laugh at me and yell "OBESE" like my whole life it has, but this time it stopped within the "overweight" category. Granted it was right on the edge, I still call that a HUGE WIN. The last ten years or so, I have been in the 30+ percent category. I am now under that. ( I don't actually remember the number right now )

The little "Mii" character, nicknamed Apey, had the audacity to balloon into a larger version of itself. I'm sure that's not what I look like, how dare.

After that, my weight popped up. I was at 214. Ok, now this doesn't seem like low, but 24 days before that I was at 224. I lost 10 lbs!!!! Suddenly everything was ok. I had physical proof that something was working. That actually motivated me instead of making me feel like a Fatty McFattington. It rejuvenated my zeal to keep going. I might even be a little less now, I mean let's be real, when I weighed in it was the very beginning of shark week. That's when you know it's real weight loss.

Then yesterday, I looked at a picture of myself from late April. Margo pointed out that my neck had totally flattened out. The ring around it is totally gone. I didnt even notice until she said something!! Here's a few photos to prove it.

Notice on the one above there is the ring around the neck, even when using a straw, which usually make your neck suck in a little. Every girl knows to take a drink during a picture because it thins out her neck.

This picture above was taken last night at the same place, where I was NOT drinking a milkshake. Notice there's a little more shape to my face! How exciting! A jaw line!

These changes in my appearance are just an outward reflection of the work going on inside of me. It's so exciting to see, mostly because I couldn't get these results with just "watching" what I ate. When I was "watching what I was eating" I was just basically watching food I shouldn't have disappear into my mouth.

I now don't just watch what I eat, I control what I eat. I really need to go grocery shopping though, because I'm finding myself eating plain oat bran for breakfast and a dry salad for lunch. In those times I just say "Food is fuel, food is fuel" so I don't go insane.

All in all, this is teaching me so much about my body. Margo also pointed out that "glow" in me was only getting worse. I am glowing all over the place and it's showing to those around me. I'm happier with myself because my mind is in charge, not my emotions and my god is no longer my stomach.

If you don't quit, you win. I'm winning.