I must admit, last night I broke down crying because I was scared. Scared of giving birth, scared of something going wrong, scared of not being ready, scared of not having the stuff we need, and scared of beginning a new type of life.
As I was sitting (inthebathroom) crying, my wonderful husband came up and sat with me and comforted me while I was practically uncontrollable and asked me what was wrong. I cried for a while before I could start talking, cuz who can cry AND talk amiright? I explained all my fears that I kinda felt guilty for having because I'm supposed to just be excited and ready. He looked at me in my face full of mascara and said:
"Do you like adventure?"
I nodded yes
"Do you like surprises?"
Another nod, and I started to smile a little
"Do you like babies?"
"Do you like living life together?"
Ok I see where this is going...
"Do you like problem solving and being creative?"
"Do you like following Jesus?"
I paused, sniffled a little and looked in awe at him through my smiling, tear filled eyes.
He did it again, relieved my fears by reminding me of who I am.
Of course this is going to be new, scary, unknown, tiring and unpredictable. That's a promise, but I don't know when I forgot that is exactly what I LOVE about life.
I love adventure! I love surprises and I LOVE BABIES! There is something so powerful about being reminded of how I am made to be.
Thank you Tim.
Nesting is in full effect, and part of the reason I broke down. I just had this overwhelming feeling our house just wasn't going to be ready. I've been rearranging, cleaning, folding and beginning to put things in place in our home. It is going to be great, and there is time. Also, they're just going to be tiny and in our room for a lot of the first few months. I have to remember in reality, after the baby shower, we could be ready in like a day.
Tim reminded me too that I don't normally plan so far ahead. He once again made me remember that I like just crossing bridges when I come to them. I think he was surprised I was planning 3 months ahead in the first place, and told me to relax and live how I normally do. That made me feel better. I like Tim.
Now we are almost to 25 weeks! I am coming up on my third trimester, and I look almost full term. I started getting the question; "So, when are you due??"
They don't expect me to say July. I have a feeling this is the beginning of that question being asked everyday. That's ok though, is still fresh enough not to bother me. Ikindalikeit.
Last Saturday we registered at babies r us! It was really tiring and really fun! We took a long time to decide which stuff to register for, and even took a break in the nursery section to "test" gliders. It can be an overwhelming thing, but I think we got through without too much harm.
Tim picked out this nose sucker that you PUT IN YOUR MOUTH AND SUCK SNOT OUT OF BABIES NOSE.
I was so extremely grossed out. He thought it was brilliant. I told him he could register for it but he was going to be the ONLY one to use it. So. Gross. I also scanned the normal baby nose sucker. For those of us who don't like to eat snot accidentally (or on purpose.)
Overall, the babies are healthy and kicking and moving a lot! We are so excited (and a little nervous) to meet them, name them and take them home!
We can expect to meet them anywhere from 34-38 weeks. I'm hoping they'll stay in until 38 weeks so they can be born on the 4th of July, just like we joked about last year. Also, so I can name them America and Liberty. Or Stars and Stripes, or firework and freedom.
Let's all keep praying they're head down and ready for a smooth, short, painless delivery.
In Jesus name, amen.
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